Sleekeazy The Musical
by Prankoholic
Summary: A highly amusing musical fic based on Grease taking place in the marauders final year at Hogwarts, covering canon events. Chapter 3 and 6 are improved, I rewrote the filks to fit the story better. Plz r&r!
1. Snogging Occurred

The prefects had their own premises for their meetings somewhere on the 34th floor. Lucky for them the stairs moved by themselves. A prefect meeting was just ending.

"...So we better keep an eye on that too. Any questions?" said Lily and looked around for waving hands. "Ok, good. I hereby declare this meeting over."

It took half a second for all the prefects to get out of there. It was dinner time. Lily stayed behind to clean up the mess and James decided to be nice and help her out.

"What a mess." said Lily and raised her wand.

"Allow me. _Clean Up_!"

The room was now much cleaner than before.

"Well done, James. Let's go." said Lily.

"'Well done'? 'James'? 'Let's' as in 'Let us'?" James didn't believe his ears.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all." They left the room. Floating, in James' case. On clouds.

Back in the boy's dorm.

"_I'm walking on sunshine woaoh-_" Sirius sang as usual. The door flew open.

"_And it sure feels good! Hey! Allright..._" James joined in and did the running man, his favourite dance.

"You hate that song." said Remus.

"Not anymore."

"You seem unusually cheerful. Did something good happen?" Sirius asked.

"You bet! Get ready for this! After the prefect meeting, Evans and I stayed behind to clean up the mess. And there..."

"There...?"

"There what?"

Sirius, Remus and Peter waited eagerly to hear what had happen.

"She said 'Well done, James, let's go'."

James mad a 'ta-da' gesture and waited for his friends to jump up and down of joy.

"That's it?" Remus asked.

"I thought you had real news. Juicy news with...dirty details." Sirius muttered disappointedly.

"Come on, this is real juicy news! This proves that she loves me!"

His friend rolled their eyes at him.

"How does it prove that?" Peter asked.

"She gave me a compliment! She called me by my first name! She referred to us as 'us'!"

"Whatever." said Sirius repudiately. "I better continue with my banjo practise."

"I think just the fact that she was nice to me is proof enough! She doesn't hate me."

"That doesn't mean she loves you" said Remus.

"Everything lesser than bricks is love..." James replied dreamily.

"I'm out of here. I'm going to vandalize the library." said Sirius and got up.

"I'll come with, I have to return a couple of books." said Remus.

"You mean a dozen?"

"There's no need to be impudent."

James was disappointed that his own friends didn't believe him.

"Guys wait! There's...more."

Sirius and Remus stopped by the door.

"She told me not to tell anyone but...snogging occurred." said James. This wasn't lying, just stretching the truth.

"Snogging occurred?" Sirius repeated disbelievingly. "Are you sure?"

James made one of those would-I-lie faces.

"Would I lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you just didn't have that dream again? Where snogging occurred?" Remus asked.

"Oh this wasn't a dream. This was very real."

A couple of days later. In the girl's dorm.

"Ok" Emmeline Vance panted. "Who's up for a pillowfight break?"

Hestia Jones, Marlene McKinnon and Lily raised hands.

"_Why don't you give me a give me a butterbeer, Hessie_?" Marlene sang to the tune of Build Me Up A Buttercup..

"Marlene, shut up." Lily told them off. "You know I hate 'The Foundations'."

"Yes, boss." said Marlene. "I asked for a butterbeer!"

Hestia gave her a butterbeer.

"So." said Emmeline. "Lily, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Ok. You must tell me, did you really snog Potter after the prefect meeting last week?"

Everyone gasped.

"What? And you can't ask that on dare 'cause then you might as well call the game 'truth or truth?'!"

"Or...just 'Truth'." said Marlene.

"You didn't answer my question!" said Emmeline.

"Here's an answer: No, over my dead body!"

"Be careful what you wish for." Hestia adviced her.

"Where did you even get that idea?" Lily asked.

"Sirius told me."

"I envy you so much." said Marlene, wishing that Sirius talked to her too.

"Me too." said Hestia

"Are you saying...that Potter told Black...that snogging occurred?"

"That's putting it mildly, compared to what he said."

"I didn't think that brat could sink any lower!"

"Sirius told me that you probably would deny it, because you had told James not to tell anyone."

"Jeez I wonder why!"

"It makes perfect sense." said Hestia. "I always thought that all that yelling just was a facade to cover up your real feelings."

"It's not. I thought you knew me better than that."

"So what exactly did happen?" Marlene asked.

Lily got up. "Oh I'll tell you what happened. I'll sing you what happened! Music begins and during the duet the scene switches between the girls' and the boys' dorm:

(Tune: Summer Nights)

_L: Prefect meeting – Over so fast_

_J: Prefect meeting – We were the last_

_All the rest rushed out the door_

_L: All the rest left us the chores_

_J&L: Prefect days – Both of us stayed and uh oh some/no snogging occurred_

_Boys: Tell us more tell us more_

_Are you being sincere?_

_Girls: Tell us more tell us more_

_That is why we are here_

_L: Raised my wand to clean up the mess_

_J: Said 'I want to' just to impress_

_L: We were done and off we went_

_J: When I got my compliment_

_J&L: Prefect sun – Cleaning's not fun and uh oh some/no snogging occurred_

_Girls: Tell us more tell us more_

_So no love at first sight?_

_Boys: Tell us more tell us more_

_Did she not want to fight?_

_L: That's the story and that's the truth_

_J: We got bored with nothing to do_

_L: Left the room, locked with my key_

_J: And then 'Boom'! She wanted me_

_J&L: Prefect things_

_L: There was no fling_

_J/L: And uh oh some/no snogging occured_

_Boys: Tell us more tell us more_

_Are you pulling our legs?_

_Girls: Tell us more tell us more_

_So there's no way you're preg?_

_L: I was friendly, I called him 'James'_

_J: She got friendly, she said my na-ha-hame_

_L: What you've heard are just pure lies_

_J: Man how I just love those green eyes_

_J&L: Prefect's meet_

_L: There was no heat and_

_J&L: Uh oh some/no snogging occurred_

_Girls: Tell us more tell us more_

_Are you not even friends?_

_Boys: Tell us more tell us more_

_This we can't apprehend_

_L: He's deceiving, hear what I say_

_J: Please believe me, don't spoil this day_

_'Cause we made our true love vow_

_L: God I am so mad right now_

_J&L: Prefect dreams –_

_L: I could just scream_

_J&L: But oh some/no snogging occurred_

_Girls and boys: Tell us more tell us more!_

Everyone went back to normal.

"Ok, we believe you." said Marlene.

"Good. Now if you excuse me, I have to go and yell at Pothead!." said Lily angrily and left the dorm.

_(A/N: I've tried several times to make a Grease parody, and now I have! If you like it, you won't have to wait long but if no one does then I will just remove it. No use keeping a fic no one likes so reviews are appreciated! As long as they are positive or constructive. And the first chapter is never great.)_


	2. Look At Me

Lily looked for James and found him on the quidditch pitch, bragging to his friends on how she practically had been all over him.

"...So I said 'ok babe, take it easy!' and she said said 'make me, athlete boy!', yes that's her nickname for me, and-"

"Then what?" Lily asked, aha-I-caught-you like.

"Lily! Hi! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Oh this won't be as pleasant as the last night we met! When I 'threw myself at you', remember? In case you need your memory refreshed, ask anyone!"

Lily walked away furiously. James jogged after her.

"Ok, I'm sorry. I may have stretched on the truth a little." he explained apologeticly.

Lily stopped.

"'Stretched on the truth'? 'A little'? How can 'Lily was nice' become 'Lily drove her tounge drive my throat so far I bet she could taste my stomach acid' !" she almost yelled.

James chuckled. "I've never said those words..."

Lily started walking again and James jogged after her.

"Ok, I'm sorry. What do you want me to say or do?"

"I want you to tell everybody that you lied, what really happened. And then swear on whatever is most precious to you that you'll never come near me again or I will cut you're tounge off and make you eat it. You make me sick! You and the thought of tasting your stomach acid!"

She marched off furiously, leaving James feeling that a dementor and sucked out all of his happiness.

The next couple of days he was like a ghost. At lunch he hardly touched his food.

"Hello? Prongsy? Earth to four-eyes!" said Sirius and waved his hands before James. "Moony, do something!"

Remus slapped James. That brought him back.

"Huh? What?"

"Where are you? You haven't been yourself at all lately." said Sirius.

"Oh, nowhere. _I'm gonna take a trip to lonesome town, gonna stay at heartbreak hotel_..." James hummed to himself. Remus and Sirius exchanged worried looks.

"Trouble in loveland again?" Remus asked.

"No what makes you think that? _Love hurts love scars love wounds and mars_..."

Sirius leaned forward over the table. "Has Evans been mean to you again?"

"If you by 'mean' mean 'honest', then yes."

"What did she say this time?" Remus asked.

"She told me off for what I did and asked me to swear on whatever is precious to me that I will never go near her again."

Sirius nodded understandingly. "Uhuh yup I can see why you feel bad. You don't wanna swear on my life because staying away from her is like not eating to you. Which you don't."

James glared at Sirius. "I'm afraid she is more precious to me than you are, Padfoot. Sorry."

Sirius made one of those could-I-be-more-offended noice.

"Stab me in my heart with a rusty dagger, why don't you? And while you're at it, pour some salt in the wound!"

He crossed his arms and looked away pouting. James rolled his eyes.

"Come on, It's not the first time she's told you to stay away from her." said Remus.

"I know but this time was different. I don't think I've ever seen her so mad. And she wasn't just mad, it was like she was hurt too. And extremely dissapointed in me. I've never felt so low."

"Not even when Snape had mixed shrinking potion in your pumpkinjuice?" Sirius asked.

James glared at him again.

"What, I'm trying to lighten up the mood!"

"I don't think this is the best time for jokes." said Remus.

"I'm going now, I'm not hungry." said James and got up.

"Where?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere I can be alone and sure that no one else will show up. The library will do."

"Prongs, I don't think you should be alone. Because you are depressed and the books are heavy and it's easy to cut yourself on the pages. And the windows are wide and easy to jump through. And it's very far to the ground-"

"I'm not gonna kill myself." said James.

"Anyway. We should have a 'Boy's night in'!"

"_Boy's night in_?" Remus repeated.

"You heard me. We get drunk and see what happens. Alcohol always makes happy."

"Aren't you afraid I'm gonna lose my judgement and die of alcohol poisoning?"

"No. It's not far to the hospital wing."

Later the same day. So late you could call it night. The marauders were drunk and sitting on the floor, laughing like drunk people do.

"...So the Puffskein said to the Pygmypuff: How's the magic dragon? HAHAHAHA!"

They laughed hard at this joke which it was and drank some more.

"And if you think that's funny, you should hear the beginning of the joke!" said Sirius and wiped tears from his eyes.

"I got one!" said James. "How many Slytherin's does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"How many?" Sirius asked.

"One! That asks a Gryffindor to do the job! HAHAHAHAHA"

And they drank some more.

"I'd like to propose a toast!" said Sirius. "To single life!"

"But you're not single." said Remus.

"Ok, cheers to relationships that aren't serious. Where you're still allowed to see other people."

"As long as you hide it and lock your mistress inside a broom cupboard when your girlfriend shows up." said Remus.

"Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Are you a marriage counsellor?"

"No."

"Then zip it."

"I don't see why you would ask that 'cause you're not married."

"I can't be impudent but you can? That's not democracy."

"Why don't we just toast to unfaithfulness, hm?" Remus raised his bottle.

"Sound good to me! Cheers!"

Kling.

"Life is not fair." said James. "The fact that you switch girlfriend every other week and aren't faithful to any of them is widely known and still they keep coming to you!"

"It's sad...they all think they are special and different." said Sirius.

"Maybe because you tell them." said Remus.

"'Come on, they can't be so stupid that they think I haven't said it to all of my exes!"

"And I have remained faithful to Lily forever and never had she even considered to go out with me."

"Well..." said Sirius. "You have to be born with that extra something. Good looks, as I like to call it."

"You are so shallow." said James.

"I'm shallow? Evans hasn't stopped showering you with insults since the day she laid eyes on you and she has always picked on every little thing you do. So why don't you just find someone else to waste your love on? Because in your absurd mind she's hot. She thinks it's her business whatever curse you throw at any random Hufflepuff. I mean come on, so do I and she never tells me off!"

"Maybe...she cares more about me..." James said.

"Don't go thinking that this means she loves you, ok?" said Remus.

"I won't but...she does waste an awful lot of energy on yelling at me. And how come she's always wherever I've decided to prank somebody? And that time after that prefect meeting, she actually was nice."

"So if all that yelling meant that she really loves you, that means she doesn't have those feelings anymore." said Remus.

"No! And...she yelled at me today, remember? Ok, maybe love is a strong word. Maybe she likes me at least."

"Oi..." said Sirius 'cause he suddenly got a headache.

"Yeah! When you're all goody twoshoes. Which you are never. Except for when you helped her clean up the mess after that meeting."

"I will never figure out what you see in that woman..." said Sirius. "Even if you got married and bought a house I bet you would fight all the time. She's just the typ that get's mad at the smallest insignificant thing. This is how she will be: 'You didn't notice my new earrings, I'm going to my parent's house and I'm taking the kids with me!'"

"Or 'I saw you looking at that healeress when she checked your eyes, I'm going to my parent's house and I'm taking the kids with me!'" said Remus.

"Or 'I don't care if I broke your legs yesterday, I thought I told you to mow the lawn! I'm so mad I'm going to my parent's house and I'm-"

"Ok, guys! I got the picture!"

"Then I'm done. And whenever you're late for dinner she'll make you sleep on the couch."

"Ok!"

Silence followed. James sighed.

"What should I do?"

"Here we go again!" said Sirius and jumped up on his bed.

(Tune: Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee)

_S: Look at me I'm Jimmy P_

_Whine and cry just constantly_

_Once more my heart has been all torn apart_

_Because I'm Jimmy P_

_(Remus jumped up on his bed)_

_R: Look this way I'm Potter J_

_My girl yelled at me today_

_Shattered my soul and the heart that she stole_

_Because I'm Potter J_

_S: I don't eat or prank_

_I'm completely blank_

_And my friends just won't understand_

_'What I feel is love, nothing you know of_

_But how come your fanclub still expands?'_

_R: This is true: your girl hates you_

_Wish you got lost in Peru_

_Or just transfered so you'd stop stalking her_

_'Cause you're Jimmy P_

_S: 'Lily Lily! Forgive me!_

_Do you really detest me?'_

_Need I remind that you're out of your mind?_

_R: Yo, fungus, I'm Jimmy P_

"Are you making fun of me, guys?" James asked.

"You have to ask? I'm deeply offended. And it's 'fungu' not 'fungus'!" said Sirius and sat down. So did Remus.

"Jeez...you guys are right. I'm gonna get some fresh air."

James got up and left.

_(A/N: I know the filk is crap, and I'm sorry I forgot about Peter...it happens so easily, let's just say he's asleep.) _


	3. All I Ask Is One Date With You

James had gone to the giant lake. It was almost midnight so he had the place all to himself. Even the giant squid was asleep.  
(Tune: Hopelessly Devoted To You)

_This time is not the first I've screwed up  
And I thought I was stretching the truth  
Finally I know why I get a 'no' from you_

_Hello I'm just a fool who's wishing  
That someday you will like me too  
Lily, listen please  
I'm begging on my knees  
It's true  
All I ask is one date with you_

But now I'm sorry I lied  
'Cause you pushed my love aside  
How long must I wait  
All I ask is one date with you  
All I ask is one date with you  
All I ask is one date with you

_My friends are saying 'fool forget her'  
My heart is saying 'don't let go'  
Since you said my name I haven't been the same you knew  
All I ask is one date with you_

_But now I'm sorry I lied  
'Cause you pushed my love aside  
How long must I wait  
All I ask is one date with you  
All I ask is one date with you  
All I ask is one date with you  
_  
Sirius and Remus clapped their hands. Sirius howl whistled.  
"What a performance!"  
"I didn't know you had that in you." said Remus.  
James turned around and blushed.  
"You! What are you doing here? How long have you been there? How much did you see?"  
"Everything. We followed you here." Sirius replied.  
"Yeah well...I saw you singing earlier so I guess we're even."  
"Whatever, let's go Olivia."

Back in the dormitory. It was getting early but the marauders didn't feel tired. They were always hyper.  
"Sit." Sirius told James.  
"You're telling me to sit? Oh the irony..." James sat down.  
"As you know, I am as bad as you. Sometimes even worse. Yet, I am the most loveable one of us. Why is that you may have asked yourself? The answer, my deer friend-" Sirius made a pause and chuckled to himself.  
"How long did you brood on that one?" Remus asked.  
"A couple of days." Sirius replied. "Anyway, the answer is: I don't take shit from anyone. And I'm extremely gorgeous, but I figured you ought to have noticed that I mean we have shared dorm for 6-7 years so you must have seen me undressed at some point-"  
"Paddy?" said James.  
"Yes?"  
"Shut it!"  
"Ok, ok, moving on. The point is, I am the right person to help you."  
Remus snorted.  
"You had something to say?" Sirius asked.  
"I just think that James here might be interested in a relationship. And not some two-day fling that ends with abortion."  
"Excuse me? My relationships last longer than two days!"  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah! Once it lasted...3 days."  
Remus rolled his eyes. "You may be the master of getting them but not of keeping them. There, I am the master. Prongs, do you know what girls like about me?"  
"No." said James.  
"I think like a girl. Paddy thinks like a macho pig. That's why girls are objects to him and that's why he dumps them when he gets bored. And you know Paddy, he gets bored 24/7. So then they come to me and say 'Why is he such a jerk?' and I say 'Because men are pigs' and on that way it is."  
"I'm not a jerk!" said Sirius.  
"I just repated what Suzy, Mandy, Courtney, Cindy, Janey and Lucy said."  
"Liar! I've never dated a Janey!"  
"Ravenclaw with blond curls and blue eyes? The one with sharp nails?"  
"Oh...Her name was Janey?"  
"Yup."  
"Then who's Becky?"  
"The girl you're cheating with behind Emmeline's back."  
"Oh." Then Sirius snapped his fingers as he had just realized something. "That's why she was mad at me today! But anyhow, follow me!"

_(A/N: I changed the hopelessly devoted - filk, 'cause I wanted it to fit better with the story, other wise it's just...too easy if ya know what I mean. I changed the sandy - filk too, for the same reason. Please r&r!)_


	4. Slee Lightnin'

James, Remus and Peter followed Sirius out of the dorm and the commonroom. On the third floor they entered the room with the trapdoor so they'd get to the dungeonlevel quicker. They stopped in the room they landed in, the Chamber of the Keys as it's called today but they just called it the 'smelly room'.

"Wow look a motorbike!" said James just noticing a shiny black Harley Davidsson in the middle of the room. "I wonder who's it is"

Sirius revealed a key that he started the motors with. "Mine and mine alone. Isn't she a beauty?"

"Are you saying it's yours? When and where did you get it?" Remus asked.

"Like a couple of weeks ago. I saw it when we visited the ministry at the beginning of this term, remember? I sneaked off to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office and some guy there showed me lots of bewitched mugglestuff that they don't know how to unjinx. And you know they are just glad to be rid of those stuff so I got this baby for only a couple of galleons" Sirius explained.

"So what's wrong with it?" Peter asked.

"Nothing. It just flies, that's all. You can't ride it on the ground. But not only is this a brilliant mean of transportation, but also an incredibly efficient witchmagnet!"

Sirius patted his bike proudly while his friends had no idea of what he was talking about.

"What are you talking about, Pad's?" James asked.

"I'm saying that all witches love motorbikes! They are very manly and radiates masculinity and confidence!"

Remus snorted. "Somebody who is confident in his manliness doesn't need something like that to uphold it" he said.

"So Prongs will you take advice from me or the fruitcake over there?" Sirius asked and pointed at Remus.

"Fruitcake, where?" Peter looked for fruitcake.

"Ok, what do you have to say Padfoot?" James asked, mildly interested.

"I can assure you that this guarantes you popularity. The girls will flock around you leaving Lily jealous. Because you see, this bike is automatic, flightomatic, witchmagnetic…why it could be Slee Lightnin'!"

Music begins as Sirius starts dancing around and singing. James sings the backup.  
(Tune: Grease Lightnin')

_In the world of witches you just don't know what to do, oh yeah_

_(Keep talking woah keep talking)_

_When you come riding this they'll all be swarming over you, oh yeah_

_(I'll get her Lily I need to get her Lily)_

_As soon as the engines roar you're not single anymore_

_With the help of it you will be getting someone fit_

_Slee Lightnin'_

_Go Slee Lightnin' if you are a lonely guy_

_(Go Slee Lightnin' go Slee Lightnin')_

_Go Slee Lightnin' if you also like to fly_

_(Go Slee Lightnin' go Slee Lightnin')_

_You are the dream with selfesteem_

_And Slee Lightnin'_

_Go go go go go go go go_

_When the girls start swooning that's when it really begins, oh yeah_

_Evans will be jealous and then everybody wins, oh yeah_

_By the ending of the day you are sure to get your way_

_Like any love potions only this is real emotions_

_Slee Lightnin'_

_(Chorus x 2)_

The music ends. Sirius and James must sit down and rest.

"And that didn't sound rehersed at all" said Remus sarcastically.

"Wow you're rhyming is fantastic, Sirius!" said Peter sincerely.

"Well, I really owe it to Rhyme Zone…"

James stood up. "Either way, now I think I understand what I must do. Thank's, Padfoot"

"Don't mention it"

It was warm and sunny outside although September was coming to an end. Lily and her friends at under a large oak tree near the lake.

"Oh what a wonderful day it is" said Lily, stretching herself.

"I couldn't agree more" said Marlene.

Suddenly the sound of a running motor interrupted their peaceful life and they looked up to see where it came from.

"Look out!" Hestia yelled to her friends and all of them got out of the way and James landed. His hair was back-slicked, he wore a leather jacket and his glasses had been replaced with shades.

"Hello, ladies" he winked.

The girls were dumbstrucked and did not believe what they were seeing.

"What happened to you? What…why…when…" Lily asked, not her usual eloquent self.

"You could say I had a little makeover. So what do you think? I want your honest judgement"

"Where did you get that Harley?" Emmeline asked.

Girls from other houses came closer to see what all the fuss was all about, even from Slytherin.

"Wow…" said Narcissa.

"MeOw!" Alecto exclaimed.

Lily refused to let James' new appearance change her opinion about him.

"What are you really up too? Is this some new attempt from your side to get a date with me? This isn't you at all and it takes more than a silly bike to get me!"

"I'm sorry to hear that. I guess it means I'm going alone to Hogsmead this Sunday"

"No, take me!"

"Take _me_!"

"Me please!"

"No please take me!"

And so on, but James ignored them.

Marlene slapped Lily.

"Ow, what the-"

"All you do is whine, day in and day out, how irritating it is when Potter asks you out! How you wish someone else but Potter would ask you out! How there is no way you could ever go out with that Potter! If you're so uninterested, why do you yap about this so annoying person 24/7! Do you know that the rest of the female population of Hogwarts would do anything to have one guy so devoted to you so don't waste this chance because of your stupid pride! If you say no now, then I'm really gonna help you to do anything to get his mind off you!"

"Me too!"

"Yeah and me too!"

And so on. Lily sighed. "I suppose one date couldn't hurt. On one condition."

"What is that?" James asked,

"Don't wear that jacket. And Sleekeazy really doesn't suit you. I prefer it messy"

_(A/N: Ok that was that. Better than last chapter, though not great but hopefull good enough for wanting to see what's gonna happen next! Please review!)_


	5. Hogwarts School Dropout

Sirius was bored. Peter was in the commonroom, James was at his quidditch practice and it was fullmoon. He looked out the window in the entrance hall, trying to think of something fun to do.

"Where are your friends?" Snape snarled. Sirius turned his head.

"Go grease somewhere else, why don't you"

"I think I have your little secret figured out so you might as well tell me! Although it's not really your secret, as much as Lupin's…Am I right?"

"Why are you telling _me _this? I couldn't care less of what's going on in your greasy little mind!"

"Fine, tell me where Lupin is and I'll go tell him!"

"So you really wanna know, huh? Even though you think you got it all figured out? That's brave, if you're right that is. Or foolish. What makes you think I would tell you something you wanna know?"

"Because if I don't know, then I will assume I'm right and I will tell everybody"

Sirius was tempted to send Snape to the Shack right away, that would teach him to mess with him.

"Ok, I'll tell you. Go to the Whomping Willow, use a stick to press the bump on the trunk. That will immobilise it. Then just go inside"

"Go inside?"

"You heard me"

"Are you sure this will work?"

"Please, would _I _lie to _you_?"

This made Snape confused. "Yes!"

"Too bad you don't trust me, then I guess you won't go"

It took a couple of seconds before Snape decided to try it out anyway. Sirius chuckled.

"Farewell. I'll miss bullying you. Now I guess I'll just have to settle with the memories-"

"Who are you talking to, Pad's?" James asked raising a brow. He was still in his quidditch getup.

"Just myself"

"Why that's not oddly disturbing at all"

"Anyway, I met Snivelly. He started to harass me with Moony questions again so I just like 'Fine, have it you way' and I told him how to get pass the whomping willow."

"You…what!"

Sirius was surprised at this reaction. "I said, I told him how to-"

"You told him how to pass the willow! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind!"

"What, I just-"

"Get out of my way" James pushed Sirius aside and ran out to the willow and went inside it. It didn't take long until he was back with Snape who seemed really angry and terrified and pushed James away from him and ran inside. Sirius wend outside to see how James was doing.

"Um-"

"Just don't talk to me right now, ok! I need full concentration to figure out exactly what you were thinking!"

"He wanted to know! So I just gave him what he wanted, and it served him right!"

James got up. "Do you know what could have happened? I know we hate that git, but since when did we want him dead?"

"I…didn't think…"

"Do you know what the worse part is? That we are not the ones who'll get to suffer the worse consequences! You betrayed Moony's trust and now he may actually have to leave Hogwarts because Snape is gonna tell everybody!"

Remus didn't talk much to Sirius the next couple of days. Not because he on purpouse ignore him, he just didn't have anything to say. One day Dumbledore wanted them to gather in his office.

"Have a seat" he told the four of them. "First of all I want to assure you that no one is leaving Hogwarts. Although I did consider expelling the two of you, Sirius and James."

"Professor Dumbledore sir, I just wanna say that James wasn't part of my practical joke. He doesn't deserve any punishment" said Sirius.

"Oh. Well then-"

"Don't listen to them, professor. All of them were obviously part of it! All of them should be expelled! And werewolves should not be allowed to attend at Hogwarts!" Snape shouted.

"The Whomping Willow was planted here to keep everybody safe. I'm sure that further similar events won't happen in the future"

"Someone should be expelled. I wanna see some punishment, detention has no effect on them!" said Snape.

"Professor Dumbledore, I just want to let you know that leaving Hogwarts is no problem for me" said Remus.

"Shut up, you didn't do anything!" said James.

"I did too. I promised Dumbledore not to tell anybody how to get pass the willow. If I hadn't told anybody, this wouldn't have happened"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "That's not fair, then I could say it's Snape's fault 'cause if he hadn't been so ugly I wouldn't have told him where you were."

"Professor!" Snape demanded.

"Nobody is blaming you" Dumblodore told Remus.

"Well you should! If you don't expell me, then I quit!"

Dumbledore got up from his chair and music begins as he starts singing (Backup by James and Sirius):

(Tune: Beautyschool Dropout)

_You study very well and learn every new spell_

_Most mixed up non-delinquent of your friends_

_You shouldn't let misfortunes_

_Your Hogwarts schoolterm shorten_

_That is something nobody recommends_

_Hogwarts school dropout no graduation days for you_

_Hogwarts school dropout surely you haven't thought this through_

_Just because you're scared that Severus will go tell all his buddies_

_That is not a reason good enough for giving up your studies_

_What are you saying (What are you saying)_

_It's Sirius who is to blame_

_Remus you're staying (Remus you're staying)_

_Beause you are still worth the same_

_If you want job in your future, a profession of some sorts_

_Then just forget the past and stay here at Hogwarts_

_Hogwarts school dropout I won't let you walk out that door_

_Hogwarts school dropout stay here and show what you're good for_

_Right here we can teach you everything, you think that you're so clever_

_It's about the time you face the fact that you can't run forever_

_Remus don't sweat it (Don't sweat it)_

_Sure things could have gone really bad_

_Better forget it (Forget it)_

_Deep down you're really a good lad_

_No one else will hear, it all stays here_

_Severus wont report_

_Wipe off that guilty face a stay here at Hogwarts_

_Remus don't blow it don't put my good advice to waste_

_Remus you know it so don't do anything in haste_

_Now my owl is hear so disappear_

_I really must reply_

_Better get going to that tower so good bye_

_Hogwarts school dropout go back to Hogwarts_

_Hogwarts school dropout go back to Hogwarts_

_Hogwarts school dropout go back to Hogwarts_

_(A/N: Haven't updated as quick as usual 'cause I've been operated in my throat. Ow! Although I don't think many follow this fic anyway but I wanna put it here anyway just so everyone knows that I ficked grease first. And I'm actually proud of the filk in this chapter. So how 'bout some sympathy reviews, I have after all been eating soup for a week! Nah, just kidding. If you don't like, just leave it. Much thanks to those who have reviewed so far, though! And hooray for the 13 swedish olympic medals! Next chap coming soon)_


	6. Oh Lily

James had nothing to do so he decided to leave the commonroom, just when Lily was entering.  
"Hello, I was just looking for you!" she said cheerfully.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, I just realized that we haven't set a date for the date! So, um, how about Saturday?"  
Damn, why hadn't she turned him down like all other times? James couldn't make it this weekend because he had detention with Professor Slughorn, for the first time without deserving it. But Lily would never believe that.  
"I'm really sorry, I can't go on a date on any of weekend for a month"  
"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.  
"Because…um…"  
"You have detention, don't you?"  
"Listen-"  
"Fine by me, it's not like I really wanted too. I just feel bad for you, for spoiling your only chance when you finally got it"  
Lily went to her dorm, once again leaving James feeling worseless and miserable as music begins.

(Tune: Sandy) (A/U: I know that Lily should sing here 'cause James got 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' but the cheesy lovesongs fit James better.)

_Stranded in detention, branded a fool  
What will she say  
Monday at school?_

Lily can't you see, I have been mischief free  
Just hear my song, I've done no wrong  
I've not touched Snivelly  
I know he claims I am to blame  
So this weekend will I-I-I oh I chops some flees, oh Lily

_Oh Lily maybe someday when Hogwarts school is done  
Somehow some way I'll make you think I'm fun  
Confinement assignments will be no more for me  
I'll ask then again oh Lily_

Spoken  
Lily my darling you hurt me real bad  
If you only knew  
But Evans if you only believed it 'cause  
Now I feel really blue

Singing  
_I know he claims I am to blame  
So this weekend will I-I-I oh I chops some flees, oh Lily  
Oh Lily  
Lily Lily  
Why-y-y-y oh Lily_

Sirius hit James in the head with a frying pan.  
"Ow!"  
"What are you whining about?" Sirius asked.  
"Thanks to you, my dear friend, I will miss the date! My one and only chance with Lily I'll ever have! Because I have detention and she found out about it! I am so mad at you, you're lucky I even speak to you!"  
"Don't blame me, blame Dumbledore! I haven't told anyone that you have done anything wrong!"  
"I'm going for a walk" said James and left the commonroom. Great, now both he and Remus were mad at him. And he didn't know where Peter was.

_(A/N: K, so I changed the lyrics a bit to the hopelessly devoted filk and this one, 'cause I wanted them to fit the story better even if they still suck a- hole. But nevertheless, I like this fic. I hope you do too. Please r&r! Pretty please!)_


	7. There Are Worse Things

Sirius felt bored and lonely so he left the dormitory and headed for the library to see if Remus was mad.

"Wotcha doing?" he asked.

"I'm looking for a spell that will turn you into sawdust" Remus replied and had already looked through many books.

Ok, Sirius didn't seem welcomed there either so he left. He went to the Astronomy tower, as he usually did when he felt bad. He regretted what he had done, but surely they overreacted a little he thought. He sighed and started singing:

(Tune: There Are Worse Things I Could Do)

_There are worse things I could do_

_Than what I got Snape into_

_Even though all my friends think I'm rotten and no good_

_Although right now that is the truth_

_But there are worse things I could do_

_I could steal all Snape's supplies_

_Hex his butt to grow in size_

_That's what I do 'cause I'm crank_

_I feel so great when I prank_

_I thought my friends did so too_

_But now I've crossed a line or two_

_I could stay in every night_

_Like someone really uptight_

_Do my homework everyday_

_And every rule obey_

_That I could not live up to_

_I've betrayed my best friends trust_

_Set things straight I really must_

_Sometimes I lie or act malign_

_But I stick up for friends of mine_

_Believe or not but that is true_

_'Cause to make a mate feel blue_

_That's the worst thing I could do_

Suddenly Sirius remembers that Remus once said that a year supply of chocolate frogs could make him forgive and forget anything and decides to hit Honeydukes in Hogsmead.

_(A/N: Thanks for all reviews so far, it's really appreciated. I know I haven't updated this in a while, I've been hospitalized. Finally I get to sleep at home again, although I must go back again for god knows why. At least the food is good. Yay I get to be home for easter! I've really missed fanficking.This was a short chapter. Please review, constructive criticism is welcome but put it nicely please! Thanks to all that have reviewed so far, you rock! )_


	8. Look At Me Reprise

Everybody were outside today even though it was in the middle of the week because the first snow had fallen and the professors were tired anyway from the staffparty yesterday.

"Think fast!" James shouted and threw a snowball at Sirius, who dodged it.

"You think fast!"

Sirius' snowball hit James in his chest.

"Ow, don't throw so hard!"

"Watch out for the snowball of doom!" Peter yelled and threw a snowball that landed a few feet before him.

"Pathetic! This is how you throw a snowball. Observe" Remus's snow ball hit Sirius' in the face.

"Ow! You could have broke my nose!"

"Hm, I'm not sure if that's worse than a broken reputation…"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Are you still dwelling on about that?"

"You betcha"

Remus was hit by a snowball in the back and stumbled forwards.

"Stagseye!" James cheered. Snape walked by with his friends. James made a snowball and aimed to throw it at him.

"Are you sure you wanna do that when Lily is watching?" Remus asked.

James looked around. There she was with her friends, laughing and having fun. He sighed and started singing:

(Tune: Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee – Reprise)

_Look at me_

_How can I be good enough for Lily E?_

_She'd like me more if I acted mature_

_But that's not really me_

_Jimmy you must start anew_

_Now I know just what to do_

_Straighten your tie, adjust glasses and try_

_Goodbye Jimmy P_

"What was that?" Peter asked.

"Uh, nothing!" James replied. "I have to go and take care of something. Later"

_(A/N: This was a short chap. But I kinda like it anyway. Only two more songs left now. Thanks for all reviews, you rock!)_


	9. The Dork That You Want

James hadn't been at any class the whole morning and Lily wondered where he was. It was already lunch time and she sat down next to Remus.  
"Where's James? I haven't seen him all day" she asked, trying to sound that she really didn't care.  
"What, you miss him?" Sirius asked.  
Lily snorted. "Yeah right, unlikely. I was just wondering"  
"By the way, Evans, I think you should know that James doesn't deserve his weekend detentions" said Sirius. "I did something and the teachers naturally assumed that he was in on it too for some odd reason. There, now I've said it"  
"Oh my god, he actually asked you to say that…"  
"It's true. Believe it or not"  
"So what was it that you did?"  
"I, uh, poisoned Snape's owl" Sirius lied. Lily gasped.  
"How awful!"  
"Yeah. See, the poisoned water was meant for Snape but somehow his owl got it. And Snape, he's used to always having two people behind horrible things that happen to him and teachers are used to him being the one who speaks the truth."  
"Hm, I wonder why James didn't say that he hadn't done anything."  
"Hello? Anybody home?" Sirius knocked on Lily's head. "Would you have believed him?"  
Lily felt bad for having misjudged James. And she admitted that she could be a bit uptight sometimes. Well, always. The doors to the Great Hall opened and in stepped a boy no one had ever seen before. Every body fell silent. This new guy headed for the Gryffindor table. He had glasses, his hair was black and neat. His shirt was ironed and tucked in and his tie was tied.  
"Prongs, is that you?" Sirius asked, not believing his eyes.  
"What happened to you?" Remus asked.  
Music begins.  
"Hello, Evans" James said casually. Lily stood up and looked at James, from head to toe, and both of them started singing a duet:  
(Tune: You're The One That I Want)

_**Lily**: Look at you, I am dumbfounded  
Where's the Potter I know?  
You look as you never been grounded  
I am so astounded_

_**James**: I thought I'd shape up  
'Cause you need a guy  
Now I'm swotty just like you  
I thought I'd shape up  
'Cause I wanna try  
So what's your make-over review?  
**Lily**: Nothing left nothing left for you to do_

_**James**: I'm the dork that you want  
(The only dork you want) Ooh ooh ooh honey  
The dork that you want  
(The only dork you want) Ooh ooh ooh honey  
The dork that you want  
(The only dork you want) Ooh ooh ooh honey  
The dork you need (The dork you need)  
Yes indeed (Yes indeed)_

_Now I've reached that perfection  
That you dreamed of before  
So I will not accept rejection  
I want more_

_**Lily**: You better shape up  
Yes, I want a guy  
I want who you used to be  
You better shape up  
I don't want a nerd  
**James**: You want no nerd?  
**Lily**: Come back and I'll guarantee  
**James**: Guarantee  
**Lily**: That you can have all of me_

_Not a dork that I want  
**James**: It's not a dork you want  
**Both**: Ooh ooh ooh honey  
**Lily**: A dork I don't want  
**James**: It's not a dork you want  
**Both**: Ooh ooh ooh honey  
**Lily**: Dork you I want  
**James**: It's not a dork you want  
**Both**: Ooh ooh ooh honey  
It's you need (The dork you need)  
Yes indeed (Yes indeed)_

(Backup by Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Hestia and Emmeline)

_(A/N: Only one chapter left now. Thanks all reviewrs, you rule! The song was weird, but whatever)_


	10. We'll Always Prank Together

James gave up his nerd disguise, and Lily decided to cut him some slack regarding his pranking. So the gang were hanging out outside, just being all happy-gang like and talking about their future plans.  
"I wanna be an ice dancer!" said Marlene and tried to do a pirouette on the ice but lost her balance. "Owie…"  
"I was under the impression that you wanted to work in D.U.K" said Remus.  
"What…I'm not moving to another country"  
"I meant the Department of Useless Klutzes" Remus laughed and had to run away from an angry Marlene.  
"Oh you think you're so clever, don't you?" she yelled, still chasing him.  
"Very!"  
"Aw, look at the happy couple" Hestia teased. Both of them stopped running. Marlene turned bright red.  
"You better be referring to Lily and James, or else!"  
"Marlene and Remus sitting in a tree…how do you spell 'kissing'?"  
"Aarrrgh!"  
It was now Hestias turn to be chased around the lake.  
Peter sighed. "Everybody has someone but me. And some more than three..." Peter glared jelaously at Sirius.  
"I don't have anyone either" said Hestia. "Here's a crazy thought, let's be with eachother!"  
"Ok!"  
"Guys, that's not the way of getting together!" said Sirius.  
"And how long did your relationships last now again?" Peter asked.  
"Fine, whatever!"  
Anyway, they were having a great time together obviously.

Later in the evening the same day, in the commonroom. The marauders were sitting by themselves by a fire.  
"I'm bored" said Sirius.  
"Guys, I was thinking, what happens after we graduate?" James asked.  
"What do you mean?" Remus asked.  
"Well, we will have different jobs and some of us might move to the other side of the world or something"  
"We could always write" said Peter.  
"Prongs, m'mate, you shouldn't worry about that!" said Sirius and music began and all of them started singing:  
(Tune: We Go Together)

_We prank together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong  
In every weather as shoo-bop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop that's the way it will be  
Waaoo yeah_

_He have good times like dip da dip da dip do whap de dobby do  
Argue sometimes boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shooby do wap shoo bop  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always have this fun  
Wa-wa-wa-one_

_When we prank in the night  
The moon is shining bright  
Up in the sky above  
We always have a ball  
When blowing up the hall  
My friends I think it is lo-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-ove_

(They run out of the commonroom and cast spells they have invented at anyone they pass)

_Ramma lamma lamma ka dingity ding da dong  
Shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yippity boom da boom  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop  
Dip da dip da dip do wop da dooby do  
Boogy boogy boogy boogy shooby sho wap sho wap  
Sha na na na na na na na yippity dip da do  
Ramma lamma lamma ka dingity ding da dong  
Shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yippity boom sha boom  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop  
Yip da dip da dip shoo bopp sha dooby do  
Boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shooby do wap sho bop  
Sha na na na na na na na yippity dip da do  
A womp bop a looma a womp bam boom_

_We like eachother like womp bop a looma a womp bam boom  
We're just like brother and sha na na na na na na na yippity dip da do  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always prank together  
Waooo Yeah!_

_We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together  
We'll always prank together_

Fin.

_(A/N: Well, you can relax now 'cause that was the last episodes. Thanks for all reviews, it means so much! All the positive response is what makes it worth ficking. And I think you 'could tell that filking 'we go together' took about three seconds. The end was meant to be cheesy. Check out my other ficks! And visit my website!)_


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